Half-life

Laying aimlessly on the bed,
With my eyes wide open,
fixed at the wall,
This grey, cemented wall is seductive, perhaps?
Or perhaps my eyes don’t wish to wander?

Throat half slit, bleeding profusely,
The sheet stained,
Memories are running through my eyes in a hurry,
With everything set back in a blurred vision.
I hear loud laughs just beside myself but I don’t see anyone.
This head is paining as if its going to burst.
This earth is moving in circles, I am not able to see clearly.

Wait,
Was that you running with a knife in the hand?
And was the blood dripping off the knife, mine?
Were you bound to this relationship forcefully,
Didn’t I ever give you a choice?

I couldn’t even think of this day.
Slowly I’ll be nothing more than a memory,
And my presence even as a memory will fade away, gradually.
Leaving behind some pale pages.

The future I dreamt off for both of us is running through my eyes and I can see it all shattered, at a point.
Couldn’t you just warn me if you were too worn out in this relation?

We could have solved it out to a solution.
Plucking a plant from a pot isn’t the only way to give space to another one.
But we can still uproot it and place somewhere far, far away.

Was I too fast with everything?
But didn’t you agree to everything I planned?

I am no more able to think.
It seems as if my world has already come to an end.
I don’t see any reason to live,
Or even if I try to,
I don’t have an option but to put a full stop to this life.

Well, maybe you were too worried for me?
If I would be able to live without you and so you slit me to death.